Have you ever stopped to think about your standard replies in conversation? How you respond to even a simple question affects how others view and respond to you. Learn to stop saying these 3 things and you will be surprised by the impact. It’s simple, and the effects reach farther than you realize. Improving your responses can also affect how you think, along with your performance in life.
Many of our replies throughout the day are merely habit. We typically don’t stop to think about what we are saying or the potential impact it could have on others. Responding differently in conversations separates those who perform well from those who simply move through each day.
As with so many things in life, you can use this little change to create BIG change.
Stop and think about what you say or reply daily. To live a headformance life, it’s time to change these common replies.
1. STOP saying, “In My Next Life…”
This one hits home for me. Hard! I did start living my next life, and so can you. Who says we only have one life or path and we can’t change it.
If you say, “In my next life I’ll be, I’ll do, I’ll have, I’ll become…” you are limiting your tremendous potential.
Yes, I know all the excuses – I have kids, I don’t have the money to go back to school, I’m too old to change careers, I have too many responsibilities. I don’t have the time.
I call bull$hit on all of it! This is your one life, as far as we know, why in the world would you not make the most of it?
If you hear yourself saying, “in my next life,” stop for a moment. Think about what that life would look like. Can you see yourself in that life? How does it feel? Are you excited?
Don’t think about if it is currently possible; just feel it for a moment or two.
If you can feel the excitement, why not explore it again the next day and the day after.
Is that excitement still there? Are you now having trouble not thinking about the possibility? Go deeper with it.
Start to purposely visualize what your life would look like and how you would feel. Be very clear with it, and try to actually see it.
If it is an overwhelming feeling, you will find a way. It may not be immediately, it may even be next year, or it may live as a dream for a while.
Start by establishing simple goals you can achieve right now to move toward that next life.
Stop limiting yourself. Your next life can be your life.
2. STOP saying (and thinking), “I can’t.”
Oh, the negativity. Is it really because you can’t or is it because you choose not to, don’t want to try, don’t believe you can, are afraid you might fail or let someone down? There are so many possibilities here.
This one is huge, and we are all guilty of this thinking. When your instinct is to say “I can’t,” I ask that you think about what you can do and reply with it instead.
How many times do you hear the word can’t followed by an excuse? I can’t because… You can fill in the blank with this one because I know you’ve been there.
When I announced to the patients of my medical practice that I was leaving to explore new challenges, I had tremendous support. While they didn’t want to be losing their doctor, many understood my decision. Some understood at a level I didn’t expect. They knew me and my desire to be the best and look for challenge. They were genuinely excited for me.
One of the common comments I heard is very similar to “I can’t.” They told me they could never do what I was doing. Many mentioned they would love to make changes but didn’t feel they had the courage. And most of them had a list of reasons (a.k.a. excuses) why.
“COURAGE IS SEEING THE POSSIBLE AND MOVING TOWARD IT”
When we stop saying “can’t,” where do the excuses go? I can tell you; there is much less room for those excuses to fit into the next sentence, our thoughts or conversations. When that happens, a whole new world of possibilities open up!
One other important aspect of removing the “I can’t” reply is to add more positivity to conversations.
Even if you think something is not possible, simply think about and reply with what you know is possible.
3. STOP saying, “I’m so busy.”
What’s the most common question we hear from both those we know and also those we don’t? “How are you?” Many of us use the automatic response I’m fine, I’m good, I’m OK or other quick and short replies.
But what about this conversation. “How are you doing?” Oh, I am so busy!”
Sound familiar? The truth is everyone is busy. At this point, either the conversation stops or you go on about your life.
What then becomes apparent is that it sounds like your life is far more important than the person who simply asked how you are doing.
The truth is if someone tells me how busy they are, without telling me how that busyness is helpful to them or someone else, I hear a life without focus.
Busyness makes you no more important or successful and, in many cases, less so.
I CHALLENGE you to stop with this habit and think about WHY you are busy, WHAT is important about the busyness that you can share, and HOW describing your busy life differently can add to the conversation.
In our world, where technology seems to have caused personal disconnection, that short connection with someone may INSPIRE and be more meaningful than you realize.
This simple connection is how performing at your best on a daily basis can IMPACT others.
One of the best replies I received was at a drive-through pharmacy. The woman asked over the intercom how I was doing, and I quickly replied, “I’m fine, how are you?” Her response…”I am Blessed.” Wow! That was not the response I was expecting.
Here she is incredibly busy with a line of cars, impatient and complaining customers, and she replies she is blessed. Notice her reply was not BUSY. Ma’am, you just INSPIREd me in ways you won’t even know!
challenge.inspire.impact
Today, I CHALLENGE you to ask someone, “How are you?” Let’s stop with the quick automatic reply and take just a minute to connect with the person. Listen to their reply and then think of a way you can respond that might INSPIRE them.
You may inspire someone just as a stranger changed me by simply answering with two words: “I’m Blessed”.
You will be surprised how changing these 3 statements will lend overall positivity to your conversations and, even more importantly, IMPACT your life, relationships, and those you meet each day.
Go out and live headformance, and impact the world!
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